tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8227316556875307432024-02-21T07:03:26.134-05:00$hit My Pregnant Wife SaysA story of the incredibly ridiculous things that come out of a pregnant woman's mouth!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-84826331698274837322010-09-08T16:46:00.001-04:002010-09-08T16:46:22.947-04:00How do birds fly when they're "pregnant" with eggs? I can only imagine how much more work nesting must be for actual birds.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-51610461812023929962010-09-08T07:43:00.001-04:002010-09-08T07:43:03.445-04:00TestUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-33435667505159240742010-09-07T16:57:00.001-04:002010-09-07T16:57:25.648-04:00Retake that picture!! Look... *lifts up shirt to show her bra* Take this picture. My face looks like hell, but my boobs look great!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-2828966930932325832010-08-28T09:17:00.001-04:002010-08-28T09:17:58.217-04:00This shit sounds like an Amped up version of Superstition. That's ridiculous. Cue the Stevie Ray Vaughn version of Superstition!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-69854332101299058582010-08-08T14:25:00.001-04:002010-08-08T14:25:25.311-04:00I can't feel my ears!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-61761597962210256312010-07-31T16:25:00.000-04:002010-07-31T16:25:56.056-04:00Emily versus the sewing machineSo Emily decided to try and teach a friend of ours how to sew. Caitlin was so worried that she was going to get stabbed by the needle that Emily decided to demonstrate that it was impossible. (foreshadowing!)<br />
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A few minutes later I hear, Ow!!! You guessed it! Not only did she stab her finger, but she broke the needle. The image below is the Bumper Sticker that Caitlin created to commemorate the event! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigdsWoWkYmg1oeAdZSJHb8Xi0qwfPCiAYRqs4jDA8Lt0jeXYT3acqqG4iP_WMSIK1Nmp2DGvL8LwXvWpHg3DaFCA8QuAgZHZgwXSxjhS72aaAxHGHUq4gOl9OfL4mazN6YFDzmRJWSHa0/s1600/sleeping+beauty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigdsWoWkYmg1oeAdZSJHb8Xi0qwfPCiAYRqs4jDA8Lt0jeXYT3acqqG4iP_WMSIK1Nmp2DGvL8LwXvWpHg3DaFCA8QuAgZHZgwXSxjhS72aaAxHGHUq4gOl9OfL4mazN6YFDzmRJWSHa0/s320/sleeping+beauty.jpg" /></a></div>You know there will be more, so stayed tuned!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-12771075409214624992010-07-29T08:58:00.002-04:002010-07-29T08:58:33.405-04:00<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span style="font-size: small;">Almost the end of my first trimester and feeling the energy come back. Wanna know how I can feel it? I can now take an entire shower without needing a nap...no, seriously!</span></h6>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-42521785359527693772010-07-20T22:27:00.002-04:002010-07-20T22:27:54.708-04:00Crazy Facebook Time!<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The commercial in which the woman vacuums up the Scrabble tiles pisses me off. Like, really pisses me off. I don't know why...God, I hate her!</span></h6>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-85434786815176462922010-07-12T14:45:00.000-04:002010-07-12T14:45:11.743-04:00A Serious PostI know that this blog was created to be a humorous look at the ridiculous things my pregnant wife says, but I would like to promote an event I will be taking part in during the month of October.<br />
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In April, I lost a very good friend to suicide, and in his memory my friends decided to do the Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention. If you would like to support a great non-profit cause (i.e. tax deductible donation) please use the link below. I appreciate it. Almost everyone knows someone who has been affected by suicide. Please be generous.<br />
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Thanks,<br />
Lenny<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://afsp.donordrive.com/participant/ladamsct01"> http://afsp.donordrive.com/participant/ladamsct01</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-40001776742302798442010-07-12T01:39:00.000-04:002010-07-12T01:39:33.523-04:00More from Wal-Mart!There was this girl dressed like a total slut in front of us eating a can of nuts she had yet to purchase. I looked at Em, and knew there were things flying around inside her head. I kept my mouth shut until this little beauty popped out of her mouth!<br />
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"You know...dressed like that, she has probably had a lot of nuts in her mouth! Does she really think that is an appropriate outfit to go out shopping in? She's probably working right now! That skirt is too f***ing short, the shirt is too "see through" and that pimp hat is just plain wrong! GOD she's like a Jersey Shore nightmare!!!"<br />
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Like I thought that girl would ever get away! Thank God she was not in hearing range when that flew out of Em's mouth!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-49900146259104127902010-07-11T23:51:00.000-04:002010-07-12T00:35:30.483-04:00Em's Emergency Trip to Wal-Mart!We needed a few things, and being 9pm on a Sunday, Wal-Mart was our only option. So I decided that I wanted to go by myself...like that was going to work.<br />
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I got on the highway, and looked at the traffic. I made it about 2 miles away from the house, turned around, and knew Em needed to come. The people driving were so stupidly this evening that I knew there might be a need for some "coconut throwing!" I called Em up, and told her I was turning around, and she may need a coconut.<br />
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When I pulled into the driveway, there she was holding a bag of something. We drive about a block away, and I asked, "What's in the bag?" She had a few rock hard English Muffins, and some other foods she cannot eat. I told her, "Em, you can't throw yogurt at people from a moving car. People could get hurt!" She responds, "Oh yeah, huh?!"<br />
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When we left, I needed a cup of coffee, and she says she's hungry...huge shock there!<br />
Em: "Oooooo! I was supreme food stuffs!"<br />
Me: "Huh?"<br />
Em: "I want food that has supreme in the name!"<br />
Me: "Soooo, Taco Bell?"<br />
Em: "No...I want a bagel with strawberry cream cheese!!!!!"<br />
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There are so many days that I'm shocked at the crazy things that come out of her mouth.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-24658092111716902182010-07-11T12:31:00.001-04:002010-07-11T12:31:42.853-04:00Do you see why lfe is so wierd...<h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="UIStory_Message">Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores and a billion fans insist that you just don't understand.</span></h3>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-56839964533722497722010-07-11T12:20:00.001-04:002010-07-11T12:20:35.008-04:00My wife bi+ches about FacebookGOD! People on here are so boring today! I wanna start yelling at them all telling them that they need to be more interesting!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-12462435503291207952010-07-08T23:12:00.001-04:002010-07-08T23:12:22.116-04:00You know what should be made??? A giant cracker! Me:Ok why? Em: So they can cover it in cream cheese and I can just take bites.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-33934690016769180392010-07-08T17:29:00.001-04:002010-07-08T20:58:55.843-04:00The now infamous coconut joke!As Emily and I were driving to the mall in search of stuff I didn't really need, but wanted to update, this came plying out of her mouth!<br />
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"You are pissing me OFF!!!! You are so lucky I don't have a coconut!!!"<br />
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Of course not having pregnancy brain I was weary of questioning her, but thought I needed to know what the hell she was talking about.<br />
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She told me that it would be her weapon of choice for the car, or any time people pissed her off. When I asked her why a coconut she replied, "I think it'd make a nice sound when it hits them in the head or hits their car!" Clearly this is the woman who should be allowed to drive while pregnant! I think not!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-55203668440483574122010-07-08T14:58:00.001-04:002010-07-08T14:58:03.133-04:00Is egg salad and ketchup disgusting? I don't know normal eating anymore.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-1019657244352462532010-07-06T23:27:00.001-04:002010-07-06T23:27:33.741-04:00You're welcome, SKANK!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-25967169112621699922010-07-05T05:45:00.001-04:002010-07-05T05:45:36.338-04:00At Walmart with Mat. May need bail money. Bad parents with toddlers. One just got smacked across the face and is screaming bloody hell. This may not end well...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-52861985804006701362010-07-04T19:00:00.001-04:002010-07-04T19:00:50.480-04:00I do not like being called preggers or preggo... PREGO IS A SPAGHETTI SAUCE!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-81220091427332936842010-07-04T17:36:00.001-04:002010-07-04T17:36:30.209-04:00Oh no...I love you, but the baby hates you!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-73913196696304649242010-07-04T14:55:00.000-04:002010-07-04T14:55:22.395-04:00Miscellaneous Sayings from Relay For Life - 2010<h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="UIStory_Message">"Why do those balloons light up? Why are they magical?!"</span></h3><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="UIStory_Message">"You can't fight cancer unless you're stinky. Its a fact. Look it up on Wikipedia."</span></h3><h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="UIStory_Message"> </span></h3>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-40055058895072310752010-07-04T00:46:00.001-04:002010-07-04T00:46:18.706-04:00While holding blinking lights in her lap..."Oh no! It looks like my crotch is under construction!"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-80857368313659011172010-07-04T00:43:00.001-04:002010-07-04T00:43:48.967-04:00Guy banging on the table...I wanna cut off his hands. With a BUTTERKNIFE!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-80775611664100010732010-07-03T18:17:00.001-04:002010-07-03T18:17:35.390-04:00The newest Facebook post!<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">To all those itching to piss me off in the next seven months, just a warning: pregnant women have been acquitted of murder because we have no control over our hormones. Have a nice day!</span></h6>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-822731655687530743.post-43246808617073860732010-07-02T23:16:00.001-04:002010-07-03T00:41:11.725-04:00Hey bitch!! I'm pregnant, and you're still fatter than I am!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0